H.A.K.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Belgrade Belgrade

H. Aziz KAYIHAN December 07, 2010

Just a drop,

on my face,

a sacred drop of rain....

How can rain purify a person?

How can rain caress a person with love?

A bird,

in front of me,

a lonely bird...

How can it share my feelings?

How can it sing to me with love?

A city,

that I am in,

Belgrade is just a city...

How can it talk to me?

How can it cry with me?

Danube,

is a river,

that flows to the see...

How can it carry my feelings?..

How can it carry me, to the see?

(Photo: Tom Silver)

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A month ago, I was in Turkey for a project called "From Depths of Space to the History of the Past". It was a project to introduce astronomy to children and public in Southeastern Anatolia Region of Turkey.

It was a success as far as I can tell. We reached more than 10 thousand students and children. There were planterium shows, conferences, exhibitons and slide shows and presentations for children.

I was making one of those presentations and was talking about the size of the universe. I started from the solar system and compared the sizes of Sun and Mercury to them: If the Sun is the size of a football ball, Mercury is the size of a sesame. Then I was comparing the largest known star (VY Canis Majoris) and the sun: If VY Canis Majoris is a football ball, the Sun is 1/10 of a sesame.

Incredible sizes, aren't they?

Now how is that connected with the understanding of Life: by comparison.

In life, we compare. We compare, to understand things, to see things, to load a meaning to them. But is that the right thing to do?

Well, I won't make any discussion about what is wrong and right. But I believe in one thing that comparisons are a tool for understanding of our humble minds. Otherwise, I admit that, it is really hard. We compare to simplify life.

Let's now return back to the topic I started: In my comparison the sizes as well got mixed up a bit. Because compared to a sesame you don't know what Mercury's size is or Milky Way's size. So we don't know. When we compare we simply don't know 'cause we simplify.

That's human mind. That's us. Even though we don't want, we compare. I compare as well. This was a discussion to myself. No conclusion, no ending. There are things in life which we cannot change. This is just one of them...

(Photo: DiNoDrAwEr)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The World Nowadays

H. Aziz KAYIHAN November 21, 2010

Dear rich people, celebrities and those who are living a life which is admired;

Hello... I am a person who is living with the leftovers of you. I eat the foods with hormones and carcinogen, which you wouldn't like to eat. I drink contaminated waters which you don't drink. I wear unhealthy synthetic clothes that you stay away from. I make love with the people that you don't want to... I even marry with people that you don't like but who are in love with you. I let them dream of you while kissing me.

Don't get it wrong, I am not complaining. I really can love those people, those foods and drinks. In fact, I love you as well. I am just tired and a little bit bored. I became unable to do my duty. With your permissions, I wanna quit. Don't worry I raised two boys for you. They won't make you feel my absence. The little one, sweety, already loves jaded tomatoes.

Kiss your eyes...

(Cartoon by Yiğit Özgür, published on in Uykusuz Magazine 6th August 2008)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Tunnel

H. Aziz KAYIHAN November 16, 2010

I am in a bright bright tunnel
for a long long while...
But now I started
seeing the darkness
at the end of the tunnel...
Unfortunately,
this tunnel is coming to an end..
It is not up to anyone, anymore...

(Photo: mamophoto)

Friday, November 12, 2010

Futile

H. Aziz KAYIHAN November 12, 2010

Once I wrote a poem called futile... Today, reminded me on that poem:

Futile*
Looking at absurdity
And absurdity is looking at me...
Looking but so abusrd!
I'm looking,
with hope,
wishing that it gets rid of absurdity...
Futile...
I'm still looking,
It's still absurd,
and it is looking at me too...

(Photo: ManischDepressiv)
(*Futile: Nafile in Turkish)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

The First Memories

H. Aziz KAYIHAN September 12, 2010

Inspired from The One-Minute Writer, I started thinking about my very first memory. But I couldn't catch the first one because there are plenty of blurry pictures. But I sorted some memories that are important in my life, that are old and that are beautiful...

I remember;

The first time I saw Milkyway (4 yrs)
Hitting my head to the sharp corner of a table and getting stitched (5 yrs)
My first sunrise (6 yrs)
Falling down from the second floor (8 yrs)
Jumping down from the second floor (7 yrs)
The first earthquake I felt (8 yrs)
The first time in Ankara and first time in Anıtkabir (5 yrs)
The first day of school (6 yrs)
The woman that I first fell in love with (4 yrs)
My first fight (6 yrs)
My first toy (4 yrs)
The first time I got scared of sth (5 yrs) -may be except baby times 'cause I probably got scared of plenty of things when I was a baby-

All these are great memories and each of them are different stories to be told. But all in all, it was good to remember all those again...

A Pinch of...

H. Aziz KAYIHAN September 12, 2010

Today, there was a pinch of happiness.
There was the chirping of birds
Coming in from the window in the morning
and
There was a pinch of happiness...
Today, there was a pinch of longing
Which was ended by old friends...
There was a pinch of rain,
Hitting my face,
A pinch of wind,
Fulfilling the rain...
Today, there was a pinch of happiness,
Which is felt from far away places,
Which is far..
There was a pinch of excilement,*
Came with a letter...
Today...
There was a pinch of happiness,
While talking of rain, love, letter,
There was a pinch of happiness today,
Lasted in me...

May 2009

(Fotoğraf: OjosVerde)
(*: Excitement: heyecan, Excilement is helecan, which is a cute, made up version of Excitement by a friend.)

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Freedom

H. Aziz KAYIHAN September 07, 2010

"Mommy, what's that sound?"

He reminded on the days that he was running on the streets with joy. Then, he started thinking about Amir... They are born in between six months, in neighbouring houses. They were more brothers than friends.

Arash thought on the day that they had a fight. They had a fight for the beautiful next door girl. Of course, it was just a childhood story. They had fights and made peace hundreds of time. Arash is just 10 years old but he is not a child anymore. The circumstances and the surrounding forced him to grow up in the last two years. He doesn’t mind growing up, he doesn't mind not playing on the street like any other children but he is so upset when he thinks about the times he spent with Arash, until two years ago.

All memories were coming to an end when he asked that question to his mother. On the time he heard that sound which he didn't know what and never heard before, everything ended in his memories.

"It's nothing my little, don't be afraid!" said his mother while trilling. "...From now on, when it is bed time for kids, they will play this sound...” Even though it never played, Arash understood very well what that sound was: It was the sound of Freedom!

It was the sign of incoming freedom. It was the sound that made Arash away from playing with his friends on beautiful and sunny days... It was the sound made him grow up when he was just 10, pushed him to work... Beyond everything, it was the sound that took Amir away from Arash forever, when he was just 8.

Arash liked neither the Freedom nor the sound of it. He was always happy and joyful on the days he was not free... Arash was just a kid who wanted to grow up sometime in life but Freedom stole his childhood from him.

How could Arash know what Freedom was on the day he asked that question to his mother...? He is now free but he never liked freedom, never could...

(Photo: Jason Lang)
(Song: Skyclad - War and Disorder)

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Prologue

H. Aziz KAYIHAN September 05, 2010

She wanted me to do that for quite a long time.

"You should write!" said one friend.

This is how the story started...